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after being in the army for 3 months plus ..
i start to really treasure the lil things around me ..
i guess the saying of people only start to treasure things when they lose them is true ..
this point of my life sucks ..
nver tot i would get so emo, haiz ..
I MISS SDZ!
every single tiny thing related to SDZ, i miss it so badly ..
- climbing the staircases up to the dance clubhouse ..
- taking speakers from clubhouse to MPH ..
- buying drinks from Bang Deli or 7-11(currently Cheers) @ FC5 before dance ..
- plugging in the speakers to the power point using the cheat method(LOL) ..
- opening partition doors in MPH + showing dancers how to open the last partition door which requires some skills ..
- putting bag my down on the side of the studio floor to prep for dance ..
- hanging out with dancemates to eat at FC2,3,4,5 to eat before and after dance ..
- hanging out with dancemates and just laze around in clubhouse with the lights off ..
- cleaning up the clubhouse, doing my other ex-QM duties ..
- climbing the dreaded 3rd level high MPH studio ..
- punching fist with dancemates ..
- messing around with dancemates ..
- being crazy with dancemates ..
- guiding my junior dancemates for the all 3 batches down me, mentoring and having all the talks about taking the lead ..
- sharing my knowledge of dance with all my juniors and current batch ..
- dancing and choreographing with dancemates and dance juniors ..
- seeing all the juniors growing into matured and wonderful dancers ..
- contributing to the club however much i can ..
- not giving up the every single batch of juniors ..
- the pains of teaching dance to 3 batches of juniors ..
- the joy of EVERY SINGLE performance in SDZ
- the pains and joys of every waves ..
- the excitement of going every dance event with sdz-ians ..
- the SAI KANG i do for the club, keep speaker after every pract la bla bla bla ..
- the makan session from jurong entertainment centre, clementi or tiong bahru plaza ..
- the joy of learning something new every practice with the instructors(Daniel, Ryan and AnAn) ..
- the joy of rooting and cheering for dancemates in competition ..
- the idea of just being there for dancemates when they are down ..
there is no end to this list, there will never be, cuz after being in this club for 4+years, there is really too much to be said ..
but most of all, i miss the COMPANY of all SDZ-ians! i really miss yáll during the weekdays and sundays when i book in!! haiz ..
Not forgetting of course my dead SYDC yo!
I MISS SYDC ..
- i miss out humble beginnings in SMU training when we werent official ..
- i miss how i was inspired by every single one of y'all when you all dance or teach a choreo..
- i miss how my eyes were open to a new world/level of dance when i got to know yáll one by one through dance ..
- i miss every lazy and sleepy mornings that i had to wake up to, to get to TSC for morning gongyo and practice ..
- i miss all the struggles we when through to officialised the crew ..
- i miss all the struggles we when through to get prepared for every single performance ..
- i miss all the opportunities we had to perform as crew, the excitement and all ..
- i miss every the times we spent going for dance events and all ..
- i really really miss messing around with y'all and just being crazy with all of y'all ..
- i miss the sharing session everytime we had after dance ..
- i miss the makan session after dance whether if it was at TM, CS, PS, JP!
- i miss rides in Mel's car ..
- i miss how you guys always mess around with me and make me laugh ..
- i miss the joy of having our own personal studio with mirrors in SCC ..
- i miss every performance with y'all ..
no end to this list as well, 4+years just like in SDZ, too many things done together, too many times spend together .. i MISS YOUR COMPANY TOO SYDC!!!
my saturdays, spend watching y'all performing and joining competitions, i cant help but think, will i be able to dance freely and perform again soon? can i hold out dat long through my time in NS .. :'(
i wanna dance again ..
haha! back from 2.5 week in Army BMT!
training i would say was more than what i expected to be!
but i really enjoy sweating it out! love all the PT trainings, though it might be quite killer sometimes! haha!
welfare in my company is really good as well! i would say i'm lucky to be in the company that i'm in! haha!
got selected to be the first platoon ic!
there was a mix feeling, in a way i'm excited but another way i'm worried about the responsibilities and punishment coming my way haha! Plus, the command skills are like 3 years+ rusty! haha!
jia you to me and to my platoon! :)
I MISS EVERYONE! AND I MEAN EVERYONE! *loves*
i just spend my last weekend as a boy/teenager/young adult the last 2 days ..
2 more damn days ..
bleahs!
HOORAY!!!
we finally have a studio to ourselves(SYDC)!
okok, maybe not all to us, but shared with the other dance cultural groups in SSA!
but it beats the open space outside Soka Kindergarden definitely!
what's best, ITS IN THE WEST SIDE at SCC near Jurong Point! haha YAAAAY!
haha so much space! parquet flooring! aircon! sound system!
haha mirrors! oh wait ..
WHERE ARE THE MIRRORS? haha! no worries, they'll be coming soon, but still might take quite some time! haha! yay! SYDC sessions will definitely be more productive and progressive now that we can use the new studio! really hope our juniors will improve by many many with the help of the studio! jia you jia you! though the flipside is that i'll be going NS in like 6 more days .. which means i cant use the studio as much lol! mel told me LL suck thumb! haha as told me thats one of the first few lingos that i'll hear when i go in the army haha!
cant wait! NOOOOOTTTTT!
damn, it sucks to be going in the army now that i think of it .. bleahs .. i've been doing lots of thinking recently .. and i do feel that i am spending more time training this year bunch of fresh juniors compared to my past 2 batches of juniors .. i just wanna apologise to my direct juniors(Lum's batch) and my grand juniors(Gail's batch), sorry i wasnt able to spend more time with y'all training and passing down what i learn for HH espcially, 2 reasons:
1.) i was still studying and my workload was really very heavy back then, design can be a real bitch ..
2.)i felt i was not confident about teaching what i knew back then cuz i did not think i was good enough and ready to teach ..
but i did pass down what i knew for my genre wise, in terms of locking, popping and bboying, hope that was useful 4 y'all!
after being in so many sessions in SYDC and in SDZ and in the local dance scene, i really learn alot of things in dance, meet a lot of people, learnt from them .. there came a point where i felt i was ready to teach more HH stuff, which was this period of time .. thats why, i spend more time sessioning HH with this year's batch of juniors, so y'all SDZ freshies y'all really lucky this year! sorry to my direct and grand juniors as well that i didnt level up fast enough to be ready to session and pass down what i knew about HH to y'all ..
besides that, i would really like to thank SYDC, especially to Mel, Giffy, Bao, and Kher Xin, because after sessioning, dancing, learning and performing from/with y'all, I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY learnt alot! Especially to Mel, cuz i'm really learnt how to choreo for HH in a new way from learning and watching how you do/choreo all you hiphop pieces! you got me interested in wanting to choreo and explore my hiphop vocab! so from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU ALL FROM SYDC!
one reason why i'm really contributing so much that i can to SDZ is because, i really felt that, SDZ has given me the BEST 3 YEARS OF MY ENTIRE LIFE so far .. it really has changed me, helped me grow as a person .. i really am thankful for that very faithful day that i mustered the courage to put my name into SP Dance Club during my year 1 CCA drive .. i dun want to imagine how i'll be like if i didnt found the courage to sign up and audit for it . i'll prolly be a nerd/geek/loser that still be bullied by everyone else .. SDZ has taught me how to dance, how to dress, how to perform, how to entertain, how to inspire, how to stage manage, how a dance concert works, how to become a sai kang warrior king, how to let loose and have fun and how crazy a bunch of dancers can be when they are together! haha! it has really changed my life alot, drastically! so i felt that i have to give back all that i've learn and gained from this club and pass down this change to all the batches below me ..
CUZ OF SDZ, I CAN DANCE NOW! I AM A DANCER!
i'll like to take this opportunity to thank all the people in SDZ that have guided me and been thru the journey of dance with .. Especially to instrutor Daniel Yeow and An An, for being my instructors and painstakingly guiding me! and to Han and Zul, both of y'all been thru the ups and downs with me, y'all also my mentors in dance and my benchmark/marker for dance that i've always wanted to hit, but till todat still lose to y'all haha! to khai, thanks for teaching me krump basics, got me really interested in krump after that! to bin, a real inspiration in dance and a really close brother in arms to me! haha from the bottom of my heart, thank you!
i'm saying all my thanks now .. why?
i'm really afraid ..
afraid that i cant dance anymore after i go NS ..
afraid that i make the decision not to dance anymore after i go NS ..
can i still dance then?
will i still dance then?
*sad*
like the title says, the picture says it all ..
all the emotions inside of me especially the past 2 months till now ..
i might look cheerful on the outside, but there is so much negativity inside of me ..
i dun understand why i must act so strong in front of everyone else ..
try to bring joy to everyone else, try to satisfy all sides ..
try to be there for peeps and homies that need the support and encouragement ..
BUT ..
why do i find it so hard to seek the encouragement and support of the ones around me?
why do i bottle everything inside of me?
Is it cuz i think that i can solve them by myself?
Is it cuz i think that they cant solve my problems?
Is is cuz i've been helping many others out to solve their problems, and it feels stupid to not be able to solve my own?
I REALLY DUNNO!!!!
*sighs*
sometimes, i feel like a real hypocritical ass ..
i hide what i truely feel about someone ..
i admit .. i do say things that people want to hear about themselves ..
i tone down on certain things that are really nasty to the ears ..
sometimes i even just brush it aside ..
the end result, everyone is satisfied and happy ..
but in turn, i'm the one hurting,
biting my lips,
holding back my tears,
keeping my anger,
bearing the pain ..
why do i do this to myself?
am i really happy being like that?
has it made me a really made me the negative person that i am during the nights?
maybe cuz, i guess, part of where i derive happiness from, is where everyone around me is happy and satisfied ..
i do not like to see the ones around me sad, angry or unhappy ..
so much so, that i'm willing to sacrifice my own happiness for the exchange of their happiness and content ..
but am i really happy this way?
i really dunno ..
worries, worries, worries ..
enlistment to NS in 8 days and counting ..
wondering if i can handle the training ..
wondering what my next plan of life is ..
wondering if all my SDZians peeps and juniors will be able to make Waves 14 a success ..
wondering if the SDZians juniors will be properly guided and disciplined to grow in dance and become seniors ..
wondering if SDZ will continue to grow to achieve greater heights ..
wondering if SYDC will be able to foster stronger bonds with everyone?
wondering if i'll be able to foster stronger bonds with SYDC juniors?
wondering if my bond with the SYDC seniors will be weakened due to not being to meet up as often ..
wondering if i can still dance for SDZ and SDZ's next Waves onwards ..
wondering if i can still dance for SYDC's upcoming performances ..
wondering if i my dance level will drop and remain stagnant like the way it is now ..
wondering if there is a chance for me to improve to become a better dancer ..
wondering if i can still can/will dance?
most of y'all(SDZ) joke about me going to NS and not being able to dance for Waves or for SDZ, i maybe laughing on the outside .. but in the inside, it really aint easy for me to just accept the fact that i cant dance for Waves this year .. so it will be very nice if y'all cud show me some support and encouragement instead yeah?
i miss Bin .. the only person that really understands me .. my brother in arms .. my morale booster .. if ya reading this, hope ya doing fine with you job overseas! Take care too!
will i still be able to dance?
will i still be dancing then?
will we still be able to meet up?
I know most of y'all know or heard this before already ..
But, i still have to shout it out loud!
TERENCE AND KEN FROM NRA IS CRAZY-ASSED DOPE/FRESH/SICK/AWESOME!!!!!!!
its been a long time since i attended dance classes, but our recent SYDC session was different then the usual session! we decided to attend dance classes organised by EV Dance Factory! it was the Swagg Out Dance Workshop Classes, and there were slots available for Terence's and Ken's class! so some of us decided to attend the class, me, Marcus, Mark, Lester and Melvin .. and man did i got more than what i bargained for! haha! For both classes, i could catch the starting, but from the middle onwards, i lost it! LOL! but i really did enjoyed the classes still, learning new stuff! haha! both of them are so inspiring, that i felt boosted and ready to chiong dance the next whole week! Thank you to both of them!
another sad moment, went to send Melissa off (together with a few of my dancemates) to the UK for her studies yesterday, and she will be there for the next 2 months! another comrade/mentor/dancemate/close friend/sister going off again .. damn gonna miss messing around with Mel all the time in the MPH haha! well 2 months will pass by fast, just like my NS BMT duration haha! haha! Take care and bon voyage Melissa! Come back soon k? miss ya!
after sending Mel off, it was already 1am plus, so we decided to go play LAN! haha! Robin brought us to a LAN shop near Park Lane, that cost $1.50/hr haha! cheap cheap! haha! i got a new addiction now besides dance, LAN GAMING!! haha! its especially fun when you play late through the night with the right company of friends! hint: gaming buddies: Allen, Michellex2, Sha, Vincent, Robin, Weisheng and Nelson! haha! played all sorts of shooting games, CS, Call of Duty 4 and Left 4 Dead! FUN FUN FUN! its good especially if you want to destress or if you are just want to have senseless fun! haha! Played from 2+AM TO 6AM!!! HAHA! SHIOK BALLS! looking forward to the next time that i can play LAN again!
first of all, mad props to Triple T for holding it down for the Suntec Dance Semi-Finals! though you guys did not make it through, i thought y'all did awesome and gave it your all! haha! i really love the new addition to your costume! cuz' its GREEEN! HAHA! got a new haircut too! its my last one before i go BOTAK for my NS enlistment! haha! got quite alot of good comments for this new haircut!! i kinda like it too, even though its abit ah beng-ish! haha!
FYI and Triple T after the the semi-finals ..
me doing the TRIPLE T handsign! TRIPLE T YO!
me and Mark!
me and Candy Jie!
me and Ying Xin
haiz ...
been observing the way things are being done in the dance club from the HipHop side for the past few weeks .. i can honestly tell you, I'M WORRIED!! especially with Waves 14 coming real soon and the preparation week starts from this 1 semester holidays .. i dun wish to demoralized any of y'all, if things carry on the way it is, Waves 14 will be a big problem .. in a nutshell the way to solve this:
SENIORS: STEP IT UP! TAKE THE LEAD! start performing and practicing on your own already! if you want to perform for a certain item for Waves, work hard for it and audit for it! everyone (HH/Modern/Bboy) has equal chance of getting into the item, cuz it all boils down to the choreographer .. if you did not get in, you only have yourself to blame! you did not stand out enough to catch the choreographer's eyes! suck it up and deal with it!
JUNIORS: i already told some of y'all this already .. BASICS ARE FUCKING IMPORTANT! dun even bother to audit/learn/try other genres, locking/popping/street jazz/and many more,
if you cannot even do a simple downbeat routine!!!! IT FUCKING PISSES ME OFF WHEN I SEE JUNIORS WHO CANT DO BASICS FOR HIPHOP OR EVEN BASICS OF A GENRE LIKE LOCKING eg., learning the audition routine and then going for the audition! STOP ALL THAT BULLSHIT! practice all your basics till you can get them right!
Basics: Downbeat routine variations
Upbeat routine variations
Isolations
AnAn's techniques/choreo taught
lastly, take all criticism from instructors/choreographer/seniors/dancemates, CONSTRUCTIVELY!!!! criticism is meant for your own growth in dance, not meant to belittle/offend/insult you! so dun give all that emo/demoralized/angry/talking behind ppl's back/insults/attitude, BULLSHIT!! WE DUN NEED ALL THAT FUCKSHIT! if you can't take the criticism, you can jolly well LEAVE THE CLUB!
lastly hooked on the song, Get Back - Ludacris, expressing all my angst ..
GET BACK MUHFUCKA' YOU DON'T KNOW ME LIKE THAT!
